Jed had been in the liquor business for 25 years.

Finally, sick of the stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land
in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a
week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and
quiet.

After about six months of almost total isolation, someone
knocked on his door. He opened it and a huge, bearded man was standing
there.

“Name’s Frank, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having
a New Year’s Eve party Friday night…thought you might like to come.
About 5:00.” (more…)

Your honour, I am 75 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me.
He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honour. So I don’t stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honour.
Why, Your Honour, I haven’t felt that good in years!
So I just spread my old legs and say to him, “Take me, young man, Take me!”
That’s when he yelled, “April Fool” and that’s when I shot the Fucking Son of a Bitch!!

You may remember the video I put up on my site a couple of weeks ago, the one I call “Fucking Stacy & Ira”. Well, these are pictures of what took place just before that video. When we first met Stacy and Ira we really hit it off so we decided to go back to their place for a little fun. Stacy and I got extremely horny playing with each other while Jake took pictures and Ira ran the video camera. After about 45 minutes of playing with Stacy she whispered in my ear, “why don’t we get ourselves some cock”. I was certainly game for that action. Jake was closest to the bed so he was the first to get a piece of us. We reached over and pulled him into the bed and had our way with him before moving on to Ira and his big fat cock. Anyway, if you want to see what happened after these photos were taken just have a look at the hot movie in my video section. Now back to this story, sorry but I just got a little distracted thinking about how hard Stacy and I got fucked that day. (more…)

Moaning, Ariel started to occupy herself with the wand that had so enchanted her. Licking its entire length, she stroked his balls and ran her fingers through his pubic hair. Long, slow licks that made his cock bob in anticipation. Slowly, she took him into her mouth. First, the head, which she swirled with her tongue, and pressed its opening at the tip. Engulfing his penis inch by slow inch, Ariel showed her expertise, if not mercy.

Kalthanas paused in his meal ,mmmming in responses to Ariel’s ministrations, then plunged back in with a will, sucking up her juices like a starving man.

Finally, she reached the end of his towering member. Her mouth full, she started in on the long strokes that started Kalthanas aquiver. He laid flat, feeling her moist mouth caressing his long shaft. When he started moaning softly, she stopped, and licked off the single drop of cum that she had brought up. He again licked her dripping cunt, teasing her clitoris. He stopped and got to his knees on the bed. He stroked her back and thighs, cupping her ass in his hands and slipping a finger in her pussy.

“Mmmmmm,” she said, or something close to that. (more…)

Where was the dragon? Kalthanas smelled the acrid fumes in the air and hurried his pace, all the while trying to stay silent, else he was dragon chow.

He saw a large shadow behind him. It was too late! The dragoon had found him and was even now bearing down on him for the kill….

Waking with a start in a sweat-drenched bed, Kalthanas sat up, his heart pounding and his forehead throbbing. The usually unmade bed was even more unmade because of his somnambulistic struggles. A nightmare, he told himself, only a nightmare. He w as about to settle himself back in when he heard an intake of breath. Squinting into the shadows, he caught the outline of a witch in a red robe with day-glow astrological signs sewn into the fabric. Sighing, he sat back and said “I thought I smelled sulfur, Ariel.”

She giggled and approached his bed. Grinning, she said, “You would do well not to taunt me, mortal.” and stepped out of her robe. His pulse quickened as her bare form was revealed in the moonlight in its entire splendor. (more…)

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his dick into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. “What’s wrong, “Bill?” she asked.
“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my dick into the pickle slicer ?” (more…)

“Wait,” I struggled to say through my passion. “Someone’s over there!”

Tony stopped and pushed himself up against me and bit the back of my neck as we panted and giggled, watching the jogger continue down his course.

“Oh shit,” moaned Tony behind me. “You are so fucking hot!”

“I dripping on my shoes,” I laughed. “I can feel it.”

“I love your ass,” he moaned into my ear.

“Yeah?” I moaned back. “I bet you want to fuck it, don’t you?” (more…)

The smell of the bay blew gently as we walked along the water. It was an unseasonable warm evening, and the sky sparkled with stars. As we were almost passed the restaurant, I peered over the fence and looked down at the water where silhouettes of two cranes sat. I turned back around and found Tony standing in front of me. He arms instinctively went around my waist as mine drew around his shoulders. It was time.

His mouth seemed almost synchronized with his hands as he explored my body. First my ass, then up to my waist, and then my breasts. As his tongue explored my mouth, he grabbed my breasts and twisted the nipples so hard that I yelped and then bit his lip as he pressed me against the fence.

“Oh, god!” I gasped as his hands reached down and stroked my legs. (more…)

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says “Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I’m granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be.”

The first nun says, “I want to be Sophia Loren;” and *poof* she’s gone.

The second says, “I want to be Madonna;” and *poof* she’s gone. (more…)

A man takes his wife to the stock show.
They start heading down the alley that had the bulls.
They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.”
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 65 times last year.”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.” (more…)