I was on my way home from school the other day when I decided to stop at a friend’s house to see if I we could do some studying for the social studies test we were having the next day. I knocked on the door and waited but no one seemed to be home. The door was unlocked so I just let myself in.

I figured she’d be home anytime so I decided to make myself comfortable while I waited. I was really starting to get bored until I drifted off into a day dream about this really cute boy at school. Well, the next thing I knew I was a little wet in my panties and I couldn’t understand why. The funny thing was that I just couldn’t stop thinking about this boy. His name is Tommy and he is just so cute. I pulled my book out and tried to study but my panties just kept getting wetter and wetter.

It was really starting to freak me out, I couldn’t figure out why I was so wet down there. I figured if I got back to studying that I’d be able to keep my mind off of Tommy and my panties would stop getting so wet. I reached into my book bag to get a notebook and I found this toy. I had totally forgotten that it was even there. I had found it in my older sister’s panty drawer and I had taken it because I wanted to ask my friend what it was. I knew it was shaped like a boys thingy, which my slutty friend Melissa calls a “cock” but, I still didn’t know what it was supposed to do. For some reason I pulled it out and started sucking it and immediately I started thinking about Tommy again. (more…)

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.” She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221.”

LOVE When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE When intercourse is called “making love.”
LUST When intercourse is called “screwing.”
MARRIAGE When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
LOVE When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE When you share everything you own.
LUST When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE When the bank owns everything.
LOVE When it doesn’t matter if you don’t climax.
LUST When the relationship is over if you don’t climax.
MARRIAGE When … uh … what’s a climax?
LOVE When you phone each other just to say, “Hi.”
LUST When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE When you phone each other to bitch about work.
LOVE When you write poems about your partner.
LUST When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE When all you write is checks.
LOVE When your only concern is for your partner’s feelings.
LUST When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around.
MARRIAGE When your only concern is what’s on TV.

My name is Jake and I am thirty years old. I am a moderately successful business accountant with a nice house in a nice neighborhood. My neighbor, Barbara, is absolutely beautiful. She’s tall, leggy, busty and very sensual. She’s in her forties, I know, because the other neighbors told me so, but she doesn’t look it. I would have thought she was thirty-two or so. She’s just amazing. I’ve had fantasies about her for a long time, but I never thought they would actually come true!

One lovely Spring Saturday, I was in my back yard grilling a big, juicy steak and a couple of ears of corn and watching Barbara sunbathe. She was tanning herself in her lovely lawn, wearing a very small bikini, and glistening in the sunlight from a mixture of sweat and tanning oil. She looked absolutely breathtaking. I tried not to stare, but it was impossible to keep my eyes off her.

I finally managed to look down at my steak and it was done. I grabbed my plate and lifted the steak onto it with my fork, then I used my grilling tongs to pick up the corn. I took my plate over to my picnic table by the pool and sat down, slathering my corn with tons of butter and salt, and seasoning my steak with some salt and pepper. Suddenly I heard a voice. (more…)

This time there was no stopping. Lisa began to ask for someone to suck on her tits and Jim came over to oblige. As Sally lapped away and Jim worked on Lisa’s breasts, I told Chris to get behind Sally and do her doggie style. Chris just about choked at my suggestion but I pushed him and he got up and stood behind Sally with his hard cock pointing proudly. Jim told him to go ahead and Chris got down on his knees and positioned himself behind Sally. As he grabbed her butt and brought his cock to her pussy, Sally turned her head and grunted to “fuck her hard” Chris pushed his cock into Sally’s pussy and she began to push back against him as he thrust forward. I looked at Phil and told him to get over here and take the rest of my clothes off. As he made his way over I leaned forward to give him access to my back and he wasted no time in unhooking my bra. I stood up and allowed him to pull my soaked panties off and bury his face into my pussy.

I was so horny I pushed him down and straddled his cock lowering myself onto his erection. I felt it throbbing as I began to ride him with abandon. I could not remember every being this hot! I watched my husband fucking another woman who was eating the pussy of one of our friends. (more…)

I lost the next two hands and found myself actually aroused as I took off my blouse and slacks. Jim then lost again and since Lisa had the best hand, it was up to her to tell Jim what to do. “Give Sally a one minute neck massage” was her order. Jim walked around behind his wife and gave her a nice massage. Lisa was the next to lose and Sally had the best hand. We were all a little surprised when she told Lisa to give Jim a one minute neck massage with her Breasts. I figured for sure things would stop there, but Lisa just giggled and went behind Jim and put one breast on each side of his neck and rubbed up against him. When time was called, Jim protested that it was not long enough and Lisa quipped that from her view it was just the right size which prompted a round of giggles and laughter and Jim looked into his lap and grinned.

The next couple of hands brought everyone else except me to their birthday suits and I was getting a little jesting at my card skills. Sally finally lost again and this time I was the winner and I was really starting to feel a little naughty. I decided to see just how crazy things would get. (more…)

Hi, my name is Debbie. I had an interesting experience I would like to relate. I think you should first realize that I am 34 years old, married for 9 years, and have two daughters ages 6 & 5. My husband Chris and I have had a normal life together and except for the occasional adult movie, had relatively average sex lives.

We were invited to dinner by Sally and Jim, one of our neighbors, for Saturday night. Lisa and Phil from down the street were to be invited also. We set up baby-sitting and when Saturday arrived, headed over to their home. Lisa and Phil were already there and Jim answered the door inviting us in. Jim offered us some wine and cheese while Sally was finishing dinner and we all sat down and chatted about our jobs, the kids and such. Things continued along the “normal” for a dinner with friends as we all joined Sally in the dinning room for a great meal and more conversation.

After dinner, we again retreated to the living room with more wine and talk. After about an hour or so, Jim suggested a friendly game of cards and we all sat on the floor and played a few hands of gin. (more…)

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Encourage her,
Believe in her,
Pray with her,
Cuddle her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked .. Bring beer and chicken wings . Don’t block the TV

When Ernie came home with the news that he’d gotten laid for the first time, his mother was less than pleased.

Slapping him across the face, she sent him off to his room without any supper.

When Ernie’s father got home and heard the news, he went up to see his son.

“Well, my boy,” he admonished, secretly pleased, “I hope you learned something from this experience.”

“You bet I did dad,” admitted his son.
“Next time I use Vaseline … my ass is killing me!”

There once was a woman who couldn’t ever seem to find a man to marry. She dated and dated but never could find Mr. right. One day she was reading a newspaper and saw an add for a new store which was going to sell men to women needing a husband. A huge selection of good quality men was promised to all women who showed up for the grand opening.

She could hardly believe it, but she was so desperate that she made sure to be one of the first in line on opening day. The doors finally opened and she walked inside. The first floor had a large variety of men and in front of the display windows which they were all behind there was a sign which read “All these men have good jobs.” She noticed another sign next to the elevator saying “More men upstairs”, but also added “Once you pass on the men on a floor you can never come back to that part of the store again.” (more…)